A SONG "PERTINANT TO THE AGE WE LIVE IN"

Back in the gloomy depths of last year, whilst we were in the middle of, probably the highlight of our musical careers (actually playing gigs), we received a review from the fabled Jackie Hayden. He is one of the better music journalists of Hotpress magazine here in Ireland. As well as doing proper music journalism, he keeps a little column tucked into a sidebar of the earlier pages of the magazine where he writes a paragraph review of new albums. In fairness, ours wasn't even an album... it was a Lidl's C.D with seven songs on it and 'The Watercats' scrawled on it in black marker. We gave it to him as a gift, for his garden (they're great for a scaring the birds off of vegetables).

Anyway. I wrote all about that at the time. It wasn't a bad review, all things considered. But one of his comments bugged me. He said we needed to be "more pertinant to the age we live in".... Who is this 'WE' business?.. YOU? ME? .. WHO?..

Presumably Jackie Hayden lives in Dublin, where there is lots of traffic, arse-holes in tracksuits and white runners and a particularly large Debenhams and spends his days neck deep in the vibrant, youthful 'music' industry, swanning about to record launches, being courted by the record labels, his fingers, elbows and armpits firmly on the pulse of the economic, cultural, philosophical and theoretical state of the country. 

I however, live at the bottom of a mountain, seven miles from the nearest shop and spend most days picking up horse shit, or sweeping endless gravel from out of my kitchen.. and drinking lots of tea.. and smoking... A lifestyle that is pretty outdated by Dublin standards....

As for YOU?... well you could be anything, doing anything, living anywhere! You're 'pertinant' age is going to be something entirely different to my 'pertinant' age...

I concluded that,

1: either Jackie Hayden meant that we needed to don some skinny jeans and hammer out barely in tune guitar riffs and grunt into the mic about political unjustness and student rights in the format of an angry love song...

2: I needed to wear a nice frock and sing predictable lines about how I got dumped by my boyfriend for being too fat..

3: Get the Ronald to be front man and we all wear mod clothes and play attrocious shite just because we look old enough to have been THERE.. when IT  happened...

4: That jackie hayden wrote his article in about seven seconds and spouted any old shite that you can apply to a music review, like, " If it smelt of oranges, jesus would love it".. or, " these guys play like a teabag infused with pity".... or " the point of this band can be heard in their lyrics on the song 'Festooned at sea'.. "

So there. But I did attempt to be pertinant to the age WE (myself and the Ronald) live in... ... and here it is. For ye're enjoyment.. or not.. depending on what floats ye're boats, so to speak... :-)